I've been married to my wife, Tina, for over 30 years.

I am no stranger to relationship struggles.  

We met at a business meeting in 1992 and the rest was history. This may sound cheesy but I actually knew at that moment, THIS was the woman I would spend the rest of my life with.

Our early dating life was an adventure. Travel, parties, lots of friends and fun. We were living life for sure. Before we knew it we were engaged.

We had done some pretty intense personal growth classes together so we felt we were way ahead of the curve and marriage would be a piece of cake!

We soon found out how arrogant that was.

Tina got pregnant with our first child right away which added to our challenges. Raging hormones and buying our first home while in the midst of a nasty custody battle for my oldest daughter from a previous relationship, presented a fair share of stress on our relationship. We struggled to manage conflict the best way we knew, but coming from 2 VERY different backgrounds made it nearly impossible to resolve our disagreements. 

We did what most people do, we tried counseling.

Although sessions every other week in a little room with a stranger helped us resolve a specific issue from time to time, they never gave us the time to get to the root of the challenges and we never learned the tools to manage conflict when it came up.

We had no tools and no strategies to navigate our communication in everyday life.

I was working as a top facilitator for a large personal growth seminar company and was on the road 2 weeks a month while running another business. It put a HUGE strain on our marriage. Tina had just given birth to our son and she was left at home to take care of kids, the household and her business as a Mortgage Broker. When I was home, I was so  stressed out and exhausted that I was emotionally unavailable. To say she was resentful was an understatement.

So…We tried counseling AGAIN.

Like before, things got better for a little while. We bought a big house that soon became "party central." We went on fancy vacations and camping trips with many friends. Bought an RV, ATV's and all the toys. The kids had a blast, we were making memories, AND we didn't seem to fight on vacation.

At least that's how we justified it.

I had started building a corporate coaching/consulting business to allow me to be home and more available for my family. So, during the market crash of 2007, my company, BrainStorm was born.

The timing sucked, the mortgage company Tina worked for, folded in the crash. We were facing financial ruin but we had to just keep swimming. Tina jumped in to help with my business venture and we fought and struggled for several years before BrainStorm started to see a profit. 

Working together to build a business while trying to keep finances and family afloat was tough!

Working together certainly didn’t help as it added more challenges to our already strained relationship. To make matters worse, Tina was diagnosed with Thyroid Cancer and although we got the "all clear" after a year of surgeries and treatments, she was left with debilitating depression that contributed to a lot of unrest for both of us. I was completely frustrated and felt hopeless.  

This time, I tried going to our Pastor for help. 

Pastor Kevin was supportive and he urged me to "hang in there" for another 6 years until our son turned 18. Although that seemed like an eternity of misery at the time, I agreed as I also believed a home with 2 parents was a much healthier option for kids. We agreed that if we still wanted out in 6 years, we would address it then.

Finances were tough and as we slowly watched everything we worked for be repossessed including our beautiful home, things finally came to a head in 2012. Tina had gone online and printed out divorce papers and handed them to me. At that moment I was holding divorce papers in one hand and a list of "stuff" we were negotiating to split in the other hand. We even fought over who was going to get the dog!

I spent sleepless nights in emotional agony. Like most men, I felt like my entire life's mission was to make my wife happy, yet she wasn't. It was an impossible task and I was pissed that I was failing at it. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t win.

One night while I was wide awake thinking about our impending divorce, it dawned on me. I realized I just wanted to be HEARD. The more I thought about that I wondered if maybe all she wanted was the same. I set out to figure out how we could learn to communicate respectfully without either of us being wrong and taking things personally.

I have always believed in and  coached my clients on accountability so I stopped blaming Tina and started looking at what I was doing to create challenges in our relationship. What I realized was simple but yet profound, If this was going to be better it had to be up to me and my ultimate commitment to the result. I decided to take off the armor, put down my sword and start working on a better version of me.

I started listening without judgment or the need to be right, I just listened and did my best not to take her thoughts personally. Doing that created a space for Tina to listen. When I stopped yelling, she stopped yelling. When I stopped saying yes to things I didn't want to do just to make her happy, she stopped asking me to.

Once we started using these new communication tools in our relationship. Things got better quickly. I started teaching these tools to my coaching clients and they started seeing tremendous results too! These were the tools we were seeking each time we went to a counselor.

Finally something tangible we could use to save our marriage and IT WORKED!

Well, we didn't file those divorce papers. Instead we started working on the vision for our relationship. Before we knew it those 6 years I promised my Pastor had passed.

We spent time during COVID strengthening our relationship skills. We thought that if we could Rehab our Relationship through all our trials and setbacks, we could help others do the same.

So utilizing my 28+ years of experience with human behavior and coaching people to live the lives they wanted, I developed tools and programs to help couples do just that and it took off. Tina and I were living, breathing examples of what is possible no matter the background or the challenges are.

Now we live in the home of our dreams that we built in North Idaho. We live an amazingly blessed life and enjoy doing all the adventurous outdoor things we love like boating, hiking, skiing and spending time with friends. We are cherishing family time like never before. Through all the ups and downs, we have figured out how to really have a successful marriage and are proud to have raised 3 incredible humans whom we love to spend time with. We also enjoy time with our awesome grandchildren. It's an amazing life together. 

I look forward to helping you do the same.

Testimonials

  • "Jeff Rogers practices the things he coaches me on in his own life. This is not someone talking at me quoting other people’s words. This is someone who does the work himself to become a better man, husband, father, friend, and I count myself blessed to witness it. I trust him, I respect him, and I value him. If you want to improve the quality of relationships in your life and you are willing to put in the work required to create it, contact Jeff Rogers and begin your journey. I’m here to affirm, it’s worth it. Because I have realized, at the end of every road traveled, the thing I was searching for is Love."

    — Kareen B

  • "Working with Jeff is not only a privilege but an honor. His skill set through experience and application of knowledge is, quite frankly, incredibly impressive. He cares deeply about the results you are seeking and understands how to support you through the struggles. His straightforward approach will challenge you to uncover and apply solutions to achieve the results you want."

    — Clyde D

  • “Jeff tells it like it is, will support you in discovering your true passions and help you eliminate the obstacles you are putting in your way. His wisdom, his communication and his methods will enable you to make huge strides towards the life and business you truly desire. I highly recommend Jeff…on both a personal and professional level, he nails it!”

    — Kathleen B

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