The Worst Relationship Advice You Can Get… and How to Avoid It
I recently came across a statistic that stopped me in my tracks: AI use for relationship advice has skyrocketed by 333% over the last year.
333%! Let that sink in.
We are officially living in an era where people would rather pour their hearts out to a chatbot than talk to a friend– or better yet, a trained professional. While technology can be great for summarizing a meeting,using it to navigate the complexities of your marriage is a dangerous game. Honestly, it really might be the worst relationship advice you can get.
Questionable Sourcing
Here’s the reality of how these systems work: AI sources information from everywhere and gives you an answer that’s roughly an average of what it finds. That means it’s pulling information from the good, the bad, and the downright toxic alike. When you ask a chatbot how to handle a fight with your spouse, you’re not getting an educated, clinical response. You might be getting advice sourced from a random Reddit thread written by someone who learned about “boundaries” just minutes ago.
A quick example: a user searching for a solution to the cheese sliding off their homemade pizza recently got results from an AI chatbot that instructed them to “add non-toxic glue” to the cheese to help it stick. This is the kind of information that chatbots can provide. Do you really want the wellbeing of your relationship to depend on something like that?
AI doesn’t have a moral compass. It doesn’t have a soul. And most importantly, it doesn’t have a marriage! Even the developers of these models will tell you that the information isn’t always accurate. It’s a language model, not a life model. It can mimic empathy, but by definition, it cannot feel the weight of the advice it gives you.
Filters and Confirmation Bias
We all communicate through filters of some kind. When you’re frustrated with your partner, you’re not giving AI a balanced, objective report. You’re giving it a version of the story that’s adjusted to your current mood, your biases, and your pain.
This creates a massive confirmation bias. If you tell an AI chatbot “My partner is being cold and distant, should I stop trying?” the AI is designed to keep you engaged with it. This often means telling you what you want to hear. It validates your skewed perspective rather than challenging you to look in the mirror. It gives you a “solution” that feels good in the moment, but might actually be burning your bridge to reconciliation because it isn’t based on the full, messy truth.
The Golden Rule of Advice
I have a rule I live by, and I think it should be the standard for everyone: never take advice from someone who doesn’t have the result that you want.
You wouldn’t take fitness advice from someone who’s never worked out. You wouldn’t take financial advice from someone who’s broke. So why would you take relationship advice from a machine that can’t feel love, can’t experience betrayal, and has never had to navigate a difficult situation with a real partner?
Relationships are nuanced, and above all, they are deeply human. They require intuition and lived experience to navigate– things even the most sophisticated chatbot simply doesn’t possess.
Find a Human, Get a Result
If you’re using AI as a shortcut to fix your relationship, you’re going to be struggling for a long time. Algorithms can’t see the look in your partner’s eyes. They can’t hear the subtle shift in their tone. They can’t provide the tangible tools and solutions that come from years of professional experience and personal success.
If you want a marriage that thrives, find a human coach– someone qualified. Because AI can tell you how to swim, but you definitely don't want to get in the pool with only that knowledge. Only an intimate coaching process can show you how to create intimacy. Find someone who has the result that you want, the lived experience, like Tina and I. You deserve a strategy that’s based on reality, not a data scrape of the internet. Relationship counseling is about much more than just venting; it’s about having a real person guide you through the fire with tools that work in the real world.
Don’t let an algorithm gamble with your future. If you’re ready for real guidance that provides a clear map for repair, you have to get into a room with someone who understands the stakes.
